Musing : NOTD : Pumpkin Cream

It's been a long time since I really painted my nails with much consistency. Honestly it just hasn't been on my mind. My days and mind are usually filled with so much that when I look down at my hands during the beginning of another week only to sometimes realise there is only bits of polish on nails in a helter-skelter patches, I'd be lying if I said I was particularly bothered. I've really got much bigger fish to fry than peoples opinions about my chipped nails as I rush from class to class.

I love this colour!! I almost forgot I had it really, it's called 'Pumpkin Cream' and it really does remind me of delicious pumpkin soup, which is very much on my mind lately. I was going to do a fun seasonal design but then I broke my 15 year old bottle of Qurius Yellow polish and was very sad because I loved that shade and can't cant get my hands on a new one at the moment . :( I suppose it's just another lesson in the truth: that even the beloved bits of our lives can break and be lost forever. A bit of a morbid lesson I know but don't hate the playah hate the game bruh....

I've also taken to grabbing a photo before I do my final nail clean up because if I don't grab it in that moment when I'm forced to be still lest I smudge them, I feel like I'll never get it! I'm extremely easily distracted after all made only worse by the multitude of things I have to do. My brain is on fire!

Peace. Love. Pumpkin Cream Goodness yum.

Throw Back Thursday :: That time i went to Sandy Island

 This is a little island just of the coast of my own. It is a part of our territories and so though generally uninhabited, locals often make the ten minute trip by boat to visit the island and cook a meal together with the fresh fish caught just footsteps from the sand. That day in 2011 I went with a group of friends and it was lovely. I really ought to consider going back now that I think about it, the little island is so beautiful!

In the picture you can see ruins of a great house left over from the days of colonial rule. I love walking into places like that....the walls speak to me of different norms, different fashion trends, feelings of people long gone who  wondered at me as I now wonder at them, though never the two shall meet.

Peace. Love. History.

Lately :: Rainy Season

Here we have two seasons dry seasons (spring and summer) and rainy season (fall and winter)

I enjoy the rain. especially when it pours and it makes it cool. When goats feel they must stand on old tires because they feel like they will drawn in the dirt...sink and disappear into the very thing that just yesterday, perhaps even just moments ago, sustained them.

I strangely savour those moments when the sky is so dark you can not tell if it is six am or six pm and there is thunder and there is lightening and the streets of the city are littered in umbrellas of every colour like a big bright banana yellow circle that looks to be dancing its way through the spectrum of grey.

Oh what a sight it is when nature forces the movement of man to slow and remember that she is only letting us think that we are in charge...Days like this make me wonder if He placed his love in obvious places in hopes that we would see it.... So on days like these I feel very loved, I enjoy the rain. I enjoy the little things...like spontaneous down pours miraculous living sustaining rain.

What sudden titbits of beauty do you enjoy?

Peace. Love. Droplets of Beauty.

The Balancing Act :: Passion vs, Commitment

I think, every creatives' knees knock under the weight of what I like to think of as 'the great balancing act.' How to stay passionately driven towards ones dreams and goals in the face of exhaustion and other commitments...

I am not a person who can easily engage in cleaning on a whim. I've terrible allergies and I am prone to other breathing issues. Coincidently it is tidying things that allows me to solicit from myself a clear head. As though when I tidy my physical surroundings, I de-clutter my brain; I free it from the mangled mess of confusion I have made for myself with my thoughts, fears or anxiety.

Since realising that cleaning could very well kill me I have had to slow it down quiet a bit and that is not a state of affairs I am keen on. The slow movement makes for feelings of being ever so trapped in a situation of ones own making but I digress...On a humid night, at almost 2AM I am up and I am writing. This list comes to mind: Things I've been putting off because I'm busy and have assignments to do:

Tidying my room, that is, beginning to as I explained above.

Listening to music

Leaving the house

Getting on my knees and saying the long, personal, healing intimate prayer like my soul is crying out to do. (Its likely just me but feel like prayer in that position is reserved forces and I have a bit of a consultation to handle haha)

Feeding my craving for The Word.

Everyday I am so tired and that sense of weariness crosses over from the physical to the emotional and spiritual. Often as I lay in the dark trying to figure out how I'm going to get it all done, my core is saying hey, spare me a glance? Yet I am literally incapable; I am so tired all I can do is beg sleep to take me away quickly.

I am thinking there comes a point when you find out not just that you are growing but how you are growing. Are you growing into the kind of person who revels in the problems day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year? Or are you changing into the kind of person who uses the victory of a previous battle as the insight through which you will march on your next?

Lately I have gone on feeding only commitments. Slowly coming to realise and accept the reality of having to say no not just to outside forces but to the parts of myself that demand too much of me, that cross the line only I know how to find.

Now, at almost 2AM at night I am sitting at my computer in the dark. I have tidied my bed just a little bit. I have a huge assignment due tomorrow that I haven't started yet and am very nervous about but instead I am listening to this song on repeat because it soothes me, because the Korean language soothes me.

This is probably the part where I'd be indulging in a glass of whine but I prefer red anyway and I've only white at my disposal and again I digress. Probably for the best, that lack of wine, that might just be too much after all, sipping wine at 2 in the morning haha.

My lungs are very mad at me for my display of heroism and for their distress so dear dependable body I apologise. The thing is, you cannot just keep going, you cannot tip the scale consistently to one side and neglect the other while sustaining a healthy and happy life. There comes a time when you simply must step outside of your plans for the future and savour the breath you breathe now. You must strike this balance if for no other reason than to remember what you are fighting so hard for and why. The key to this being realised successfully I think is to continue to fight the good fight: be passionate, be committed but learn to lean without tipping over. Learn the art of balance; just when to totter from creative to passionate  (or driven to word it better)to commitment to rest.

 It is a lesson that, I suspect, I will spend many years of my life perfecting, in this discipline and many others. Ah...the healthy but hard art...of the balancing act...


Now about that prayer....

Peace. Love. Healing.

5 Things that inspired me in under 5 Minutes | Sunday Sunshine

I wanted to share a little Sunday Sunshine with you. Each of these links should take you about five minutes to feel inspired by, they sure had me thinking.

// When I feel I need to be inspired, I watch this and it really gets my spirit fired up as I contemplate the question 'Let's suppose that you had the ability every night to dream a wonderful dream....what would you do, what would you...really do?'

// This is how i feel about a lot of things and i think it's one of the biggest rewards allowed to you while being a teacher, though i know many think it foolish but what to do? You are who you are...

// The ugly social norms that show despite what Michel Jackson said it still in fact DOES matter if your black or white...

// Call me crazy but I want to make short short films like this 

//  Sometimes I worry for the man that will marry me because I am really bad at this language. Oh well, I trust God that he'll understand the other languages I am good at!


In a world so full of the negative these days, aren't you glad there are those out there that have harnessed the power of the internet for good? I sure am... I hope that you are having a good day full of rest and rejuvenation!

Happy Sunday!

TiLT - Statement Mugs

1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9 // 10 // 11 // 12

I love statement mugs like you wouldn't imagine. All these are already on my Christmas list if I'm honest. I never entertain the idea of ordering them though because I'm worried they will break on the way to me. :(

I am a person whose productivity is increased by little niceties like this, silly as that might be. What joy I would have starting my day by drinking my tea out of any of these cups. There's a lot of self love and snark on here, what could make for a better beginning I think.

Numbers 1 - 3 are particularly pretty yes? They're the ones I'm drawn to most because I suppose, of their use of colour. The others are a mixtures of interest in fandoms like pride and prejudice, Grey's anatomy, tea and of course my interest in my job, thus the Braille, I love the idea of my blind co-worker being able to pick up my cup and read what it says just like anyone else. yay accessibility!

I would love to have any of these as part of my collection of mugs which currently consists of one. That is in fact blank, which is okay cause I love it that way, appreciate both sides of the coin I say. It's midterms week if you're wondering.  Off I go back to assignments.

What tiny aesthetic value helps bring productivity to your door?

Peace. Love. Wit. 

Round Up :: Blog Action Day 2014

Participating in Blog Action Day was rather enlightening for me this year. My topic of choice was gender inequality with a focus on street harassment because the issue stuck out and I feel, largely affected me to make my voice be heard.

So many bloggers all over the world chose to rattle their airwaves and show how inequality does not just affect gender but economics, race and identity. I felt an overwhelming need to reflect and that feeling gave rise to this round up post.


// The question was asked and given the statistics, it really had me wondering,  can we change the rules of the global economy?

// Helen has a suggestion on how, if yes, we might begin to try.

// My view on being mixed race is that it is a wonderful blessing however for those who live the concept everyday so many negative notions arise both outside and inside of the family a discussion of this is considered in this post.

// Though not an official participant of #BAD14 I thought this discussion on self harm and the discrimination those who battle this crisis face was rather timely, even more so because the post went up on Blog Action Day.

// Did you know that Nobel Peace Prize winner and champion for education for all Malala, started out just as another girl with a blog?I didn't and again it reminds me of the power of the written word to change and ripple through so many lives.



Something that continues to be underlined in my studies is the importance of reflection and I can truly say I have reaped the benefits of incorporating reflection into the many many facets of my life. So don't be surprised if reflection becomes a regular feature around here.

I hope you're having a happy relaxing Sunday evening. Me I'm still fighting my way through 91 pages of class readings. I'm on page 31 so far, wish me speed and concentrations!


What does inequality mean to you?

Peace. Love. Perspective.

Musing :: NOTD : Breast Cancer Awareness

Good morning and happy Friday! Did you know that it is Breast Cancer Awareness Month? The boobies are something that are very important to me and this cause in particular has a special place in my heart as at a very young age I was made to be reminded that any disease could hit at any time.

There is no time limit or age limit to ill-health, it does not discriminate class nor creed nor any other distinguishing groupings we set for ourselves. This is the case with most sicknesses i acknowledge, this cause however, has a personal affect on my heart given past experience.

So if you haven't yet, check the gals (your own please I don't think you can read blogs from prison) for abnormal lumps, just to be safe.

Peace. Love. Better Safe than Sorry.

Because I Don't Have a Penis My No is Not Enough #BlogActionDay

Blog action day is a day when all over the world blogs unite their voices to be heard on an issue effecting their world. This year be battle inequality with out words.

If I were a boy I could walk down the street in whatever I wanted. I could adorn shorts in Caribbean weather while living in a Caribbean country and not have to worry about some one telling me about my vagina and what they would like to do with it. If I where a boy my legs would just be legs not an invitation to sex.

If I were a boy, I could walk modestly dressed, to work and not have people yell derogatory slurs at me telling me how nice my breasts are. I could walk into the grocery store and not have employees constantly whisper objectifying terms at me while I contemplate my list. 'Like them breasts girl' wouldn't be the kind of complement that would be acceptable.

I could go out to an evening with friends and not feel my stomach drop when the evening is over, realising I have to walk to the bus stop on my own. That i have to listen to people threatening to rape me in public as their group of friends laugh and everyone else pretends not to hear.

I could walk to the bus and not have people grab a hold of me and laugh at my attempts to get away, sharing proudly that they have nothing to fear because society expects them to hurt me.

I could walk down the street grieving and not have people scream deplorable terms about my character because I could not nor would not smile on command when they told me how much they want to sleep with me even though they do not know my name and so lower my worth to one word physical attributes like 'sexy' 'sweetness' or 'nice thighs'.

If I was a boy I could easily feel safe in my own skin. I would not be expected to have my self worth decided by the words that came out of the mouths of the opposite gender. I could believe I am pretty because I am and not because someone said my type of look is nice today until they and mainstream media get bored of it.

But I wasn't born a boy. So walking the streets at night by myself or in a group is dangerous because I have a vagina...which makes people look at me and feel they have every right to take away my free will.

I am against street harassment because I just want an equal sense of safety when I walk down the street. I just want the body parts I am born with to not be used as an excuse for your choice to hurt me. I just want the freedom to walk to my bus, my groceries or my friend, or even to just stand still without your unsolicited approval. I just want to not have to be afraid to have a daughter because she will be blamed for the body she is born into and the chosen actions of her attacker.

Don't I deserve the eradication of this inequality? Don't you?

I once had a conversation with a male friend and his question was 'What's the big deal in asking someone to smile? Just smile.' The big deal is that it makes me uncomfortable. The big deal is that you don't even know me but you want me to do something on command that will make you feel better because you said so. The big deal is that you don't even know me but you are trying to dictate how I should feel better. The big deal is that you do not welcome unwanted advances, say for instance, from someone of the same gender; some one you are not attracted to but you demand that I should welcome yours. The big deal is, that I am telling you that it makes me uncomfortable  but you still feel like that is not sufficient reason to stop.

Because I don't have a penis my no is not enough.

I have the equal right to walk in the streets of my country without being harassed, stop punishing me because I don't have a penis.

Playlist:
It's not a compliment; it's street harassment.
What men are really saying when they catcall women?
IF we lived in a world where women catcalled men.
I am not a person to you. (warning expletives)
So, how was your day?

HeforShe.

Peace. Love.Voice

On Blooming Where You Are Planted

(Your are likely having fall and winter where you are. At home we have 'rainy season' now. The ground is saturated with water and the plants are happier than ever before. So as i envy your changing leaves and hats and gloves and boots, I'm still grateful for my rain and flowers. haha does that sound bad? I do not mean it to!)

It's hard sometimes, to bloom where you have planted. How long have I struggled with that one!  It's taken me a long time to appreciate the ground under my feet and I mean that literally as well as metaphorically.

It's taken me some time to come to understand that it is up to every individual to learn to love the world they live in, to bright up the corner you inhabit. The fact is, you've got to do what you've got to do to force your eyes to look in the direction of beauty lest all of the ugliness overwhelm you. How much time do you think we have wasted just wishing for better days and bigger cities instead of appreciating the tiny beauties where were are and acknowledging the bitter sweet truth that our present will not be our future? That the roses will die and the garden will look different and embrace a different kind of beauty...a beauty will inhabit because change happens anyway....

Today you can find me over at I Will Bloom for my guest post discussing 3 ways how to fall in love with your world. This is the first post in a series she has started where bloggers all over the world are encouraged to share their process in falling in love with their world. Thanks to Helen for having me and be sure to tell me what you think! I do indeed want to know!

Oh and hey what do you think of those roses though!? Amazing right?! No  way I could wait till floral Fridays to share that with you!

Peace. Love. Brighten Up Your Corner.

Musing Mind :: A Happy Moment : Hey Soul Sister

 I somehow hurt my wrist, looks like I'll be going back to my 3 day a week post schedule by force sooner than i expected guys. It doesn't hurt very much, only moderate discomfort but this writer aint tryin' to make her tools worse for ware.

We lacked eyes in the hallways and exchanged smiles and remembered that we are sisters in the same fight. That as the war rages and the enemy is busy we are encouraged by the same walk. In a moment of stillness we locked arms around shoulders and swelled in the same light of our promise, a promise where we will stand upon solid rock of victory.

Though the noises of the now question our beliefs, though they spit at us damnation we part ways smiling because royalty walks in prestige whether the crown is warn on the head or in the heart.

A wordless exchange that reminds us there is light in the distance...Rock on spiritual soul sister. You are not alone.

---

Have you ever had a moment like that when you just wordlessly connect with someone in a none sexual way and feel a sense of encouragement? Tell me about it! So I feel less alone haha

Peace. Love. Encourage.

Musing :: Style : The Flower in the Garden with Eshakti

Embellished Tunic :: Eshakti // Skirt :: Local Shop // Lipstick :: MAC Girl About Town

I am a picky shopper. I admit it. Especially when it come to the clothes I go to work wearing. As a teacher I want to be both modest but have a true reflection of personality plus professionalism. That being said in my country right now it is really difficult to find clothes, particularly blazers I consider modest (at least half way past the bum) anything else makes me uncomfortable even more so with the mounds of street harassment I face on the daily.

Also when it comes to skirt my most comfortable length is one that rests just on the knee or just above. Unfortunately this too is hard to find...

So when I was contacted by Eshakti to review one of their items and I read up on what they were about I was ecstatic and jumped at the chance! I was sent this beautiful top soon after. Let me tell you, it did not disappoint either! The fabric feels great, it is light weight and the stitching at the colour and arms is SO PRETTY up close! Plus my neck is a key spot for sun damage so the cute little stand up collar is a gem! I got tones of complements on it that day and let me tell you I have to hold myself back from wearing it more. Isn't that always the case with pieces we love?

What I love most about it is that it is one of those pieces I can bend to my whim: I can style it up (like I did here in preparation for a fashion show evening out) then pulled it out of my skirt for a more dialled down look(It did get a bit rumpled but by that time of day who cares?) or I can style it for work ( soon! ) or for artsy things like poetry readings (Early November? I cant wait!) or just when I want to make a quick run into town to grab things.

Plus the fact that I got to customise it gives it a really personal touch to me. I made mine come just past my elbows and low past my butt which makes me most comfortable for professional events. I can't lie guys, I love it. I love it so much it took me this long to do a post about it because when I got it my camera was not cooperating but I wanted to do this piece justice so you could see how awesome it looks!

Eshakati is a shopping company where not only can you order beautiful clothes but you can customise them to your liking before having them sent to you. There tag line is 'We design you customize' Maybe now I can find myself some clothes without the judging eyes of shop keepers and friends who find I am being too old fashioned in my desires!

I'm going to be doing a 3 ways to wear series to show you the multiple ways I have styled this item because I love its versatility, so do stay tuned for that. I've already started putting together my Eshakti wishlist too. Did I mention I can put sleeves on a dress that doesn't have one with this site?! I can change the neckline style style and dip it low or keep it simple, add pockets, change length! So I could even have one like this that I can tweak till I find most flattering! Want a peak at some of the other things on the site I'm eyeing?

1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7

Okay so I got distracted from my initial point of searching for work clothes but you know haha. Number 1 has a special place in my heart as it is laden with the colours of my flag and would make a right proper independence day dress!

Peace. Love. You deserve the right fit.

6 Beginner Tips for Establishing a Regular Blogging Schedule

 

Draft your random ideas.

I always have random ideas I think I could never make sense of but sometimes I write them down anyway and when I come back to them I find that they connect to another idea I had or they made more sense that I originally thought or it means more or less to me than it did then and I want to share why. Never take for granted to impact your words can have.

Decide on your own schedule

Don't try and mimic the schedule of others. One of the most awesome things about blogging is that there is no set schedule. You do what you want. Some days my schedule changes. Even if it's in your head and you are the only one that knows about it, you don't have to state it, just choose one and work towards it; see drafting above.

Write about what inspires you

Posts are written best when they're laced with passion and passion shines through words distinctly. It seems simple right? Except now it means you must ask yourself what inspires me? Which can be terribly hard to think of when you want to actually want to. Then, you simply have to not be ashamed of it and find a way to write about it so others can see how awesome it is. Take my recent post about being a person that reads for example. It's written in my own style, it's short but that's okay, passion sometimes manifests in small bursts.

Challenge yourself

Take on a topic you are not completely comfortable with and see how you can spin it to reflect your own interests and concerns. This month I've taken on a five minute blog post challenge that is proving all the more difficult as school gets crazy for me again (could you tell that my last recent posts were more school centred?) I don't think I'm going to give up because I do enjoy it but I'm going to make sure I do it in a way that does not cause me more stress than pleasure.

Be a reader

Whether you're reading blogs, books, the newspaper or internet articles reading keeps your brain active, keeps it racing down those electric highways in your head. That race inspires individual thought and those thoughts are blog posts waiting to happen!

Find Out What Are Your Regulars

It's really wonderful to have a particular kind of post that you can always come back to. Think of it has those place you love visiting in real life, that coffee shop with the best cupcakes sort of thing. It helps to have it be a post type that you see as an indulgence because if it's only a way for you to deal with bloggers guilt then it's not going to be fun. I find link ups to be incredible helpful in this area. For instance I love doing floral Fridays because it keeps my eyes open for beauty everywhere I go all through out the month, last month I went full fledged into blogtemper and loved it, it was then that I first tried a currently post and a coffee date post which I am now considering making at least a once a month occurrence but we'll have to see. I also used to do a fun notd Friday link up too but that doesn't seem to be on any more. The point is, these are all areas of interest for me that I love and look forward to. So it's not work and it's not a fall back, it's fun and it's a routine my readers can come to count on.

---

Though I've been doing this a little while expert I am not; I don't have thousands of followers (love you guys like I do though!) nor do I pretend that I couldn't just end up with some super bout of bloggers block soon and look like a fool who has to take a dose of her own advice. I can however still  share my experiences and thoughts with you. This is what has over the past couple of months, been working for me. Right now something else that is working for me is that I'm trying to have a blog post scheduled at all times. I'm used to drafting but sometimes I over think things and this can cause drafts to remain drafts for far too long.


How do you keep a regular blogging schedule?

Peace. Love. Stick to It.

Musing :: NOTD : White Out

I can't believe it's been this long since I've posted an notd. If I'm honest I became so determined to make sure my toes were done all through summer for a change I kind of neglected my hands in exchange. I didn't mind it much though. Sometimes it's nice to break routine I suppose.

This month I did this, guided by another cutepolish tutorial.I know I know they're not perfectly symmetrical but life aint perfect and that makes my visually impaired self appreciate them all the more. The jagged look is growing on me, though I accept it's not everybody's cup a tea. Also sorry for the weird nail polish photo claw haha. Haven't done that in a while!

This was my second attempted gradient nails look with a make up sponge and hope. It's not the best but I still really enjoyed having them.

That makes two months in a row I've had my nails in white polish and I must say I'm really coming to like it more and more! It feels so clean, crisp and professional. I'd always heard that white nails lent themselves to a professional concept but I was never convinced until now.

Maybe one more white nail design and then you know it's time for CHRISTMAS nails! Aw yeh, that's whassup. :)

Peace. Love. Try it.

Musing :: Mind : The Book Lover that does not Read

(A handful of the books I've had to read as course work for my degree)

Do you remember back when you were so hungry that you were willing to read by street light, candle light, lamp light, flash light after your mother went to bed after having told you to put that damn book away already light? The reminiscent of daily light even, vaguely noticing the reflections of a sunset on your page as you leaned towards your open window but it didn't matter...it didn't matter if you were moving or walking or reading by dim bus light you just had to read you just HAD to read because...you were hungry for life and LIFE was the written word....and you were hungry for LIFE.

In a time when we have successfully invented so many gadgets to give us more free time than ever before...Did you forget what that felt like?

Peace. Love. Put your money where your mouth is

Keep Going Though the Road of the Run is not Always Smooth...

(bottled water names in the Caribbean.)

I've been going in this direction a while. Tirelessly toiling on, fingers to the grind and yes to the sun. Chasing the light and gritting my teeth. Reminding myself that sitting still is dangerous. Getting tired is dangerous because gravity is ever so persuasive. You bring yourself down to that level at it coaxes you to stay a while, have a seat, share some tea and enjoy the shade.

Far away from the harsh sweat inducing glare of the sunlight.

Even when I can't see my success straight ahead I presume it is around the corner...so staying, sitting square in the shade for long periods of time though it may provide some physical rest it never give my mind rest.

I feel like that rabbit in Adventures of Alice in wonderland; always late for an appointment around the corner and down the rabbit hole. Except I am late for a meeting I want to be at, sooner than later.

It is that feeling i suppose, that mental unrest, that reminds me to be resilient. That reminds me that in the pursuit of passion I would rather fail than give up. A heavy truth indeed. So I make keep going my mantra as the sweat stings my eyes. The more I say it, the hope that it will take root in my heart and grow fruit expands and fills my veins with adrenaline. So I take one step then another, until I am out of the comfort of the shade...and back on the road again. Until I keep going, though the road of the is not always smooth.


How do you keep walking toward your goals?

Peace. Love. Fall Down Seven Times, Stand Up Eight.

10 Things that become incredibly attractive when you have to study | List

(quick sketch)

• Cleaning your room.
• Doing something you haven't tried but have always wanted to.
• Going ANYwhere
• Chores
• Researching a random subject you always wanted to know about.
• Sleeping
• Conversations with annoying people.
• Day dreaming
• Television even though you don't even like television
• Revamping your blog

Oh man school gets crazy real fast.

Peace. Love. Time Management.

Spotting Passion - Happy International Teachers' Day!

(my stop watch from Modcloth)

As far back as I can remember I've always loved learning. What pleasure it is to have that attitude. It has led me to appreciate the smallest of successes and to finding passion.

The thing about learning is that it leads to unique experiences, ones that either teach you that this is exactly what you want to do or teacher you that you want to go in a direction very different from this. Most importantly however, I am glad that the lesson of learning is that there are choices to be had.

So many people have mourned their school going days and while mine were not ideal, there has always been the upside of being in a place were the sole purpose was to saturate me with knowledge.

Now while I wish it did more by way of direction I do appreciate the exposure in the earlier days of my life to such a scenario. This foundation that explained to me that so many roads exist to be pursued, meant I had not just a lot to learn but a lot to choose to learn. I had knowledge in all disciplines offering themselves up to jump into my brain if I so desired.

As I grew my learning led to experience and that lead to choice but it began with a teacher. When I was young I had a horrible teacher, one I have wrote about not on this blog, if you'd like i'll share that with you upon request (it's a bit heavy) Thankfully my entire school experience did not rely on her who almost crushed so many parts of me.

Instead, I was fortunate enough to move into the class of another. A woman who made a point of reading books to us every single day, chapter by chapter. The Wizard of Oz in fact. I remember well but one does not usually forget things like that. I remember because I looked forward to it every day. I knew when that bell rang she would open that book and continue from where she had stopped the day before. I hung on to every well articulated, emotion filled word. Something inside me stirred. Perhaps that is the wrong word, something inside me hurricaned.

By this time I was still a struggling new reader myself. I was a writer already, in fact two years before I had started drawing out my stories as I could not yet spell the words to add to the pictures, I would narrate them as I went. The year after that I had begun to read, a teacher called us individually and let us practice. She still remembers how i would tell her she forgot to call me up. For even though it was nerve wrecking to go up to the teachers desk, even though the books were printed so small for me I wanted to try because I knew I wanted to learn to read. She saw this passion and realised while other students were ducking i was standing up and so took time with me.

Flash back to the teacher that read to me. She did not just inspire she met me one day. One morning, early before many others had arrived she walked up to me and she told me she wouldn't be back the next term and my heart broke. I don't know what else she told me but I distinctly remember it was something along the lines of continue, learn because I would finish the book myself.

She believed I would finish reading the book myself. That big book?! (it was large print coincidently so it seemed pretty large for a 9 year old ) With my minimal reading ability?! She knew I was going to do it even though she was not going to see me do it.

The next term Miss did not return to the school. I never came to know what happened to her. I am thankful that learning makes choice her travel mate. It begins with a teacher. I am thankful to that teacher for giving me the power of choice and for spotting my passion.

As for what happened to me? Well, mere months late I read my first book independently  (Baby Sitters Club #50) then another and another and another and ones in the dark, and ones on the bus and a couple thousand 'nothers after that. In fact, I haven't really stopped since.

Thanks Miss.

Peace. Love. Happy World International Teachers' Day.

Musing :: Mind : Fear and New Experiences

 ( Freaking out text sent this morning. This may or may not have ended with profanity)

The prospect of a new experience, one that takes you out of your comfort zone and into the giant looming jaws of uncertainty is not just a scary feeling but a feeling that is depiction cloaked. It cripples your feet so that you can not move forward and by extension you remain in a state of suspended fear.

It causes you to doubt  everything you are and everything you believe in. Suddenly you're bringing all of your own motives into questions: why did I think I could do this?! I should just give up.

Except can you live with the choice to give up instead of the prospect of failing?

On my way to fight a battle today I realised that I heard myself whisper as I got closer and closer to what felt like impending doom: I should just give up. Surprisingly, even though I had heard myself say it so many times on my way there, maybe this time my senses were heightened by the realisation that any minute now I would literally come face to face with my challenge I don't know... but this time, when I heard the statement word for word I heard a whisper back.

I heard my heart answer: psh, I would rather fail than give up. (not that I will fail by the grace of God) I shocked myself almost to a halt  as I brought into perspective the possibility of not trying at all for fear of failure. I realised that having my bare feet lay confused upon new ground, new soil, a new chapter in my life...no matter how scary that might be nothing could beat the uncertainty of never having ventured towards this.

I guess it's a matter of asking yourself can you live with it? I know that this answer will be different for everyone and I admit that sometimes I actually can...but I also admit that sometimes was not today.

Peace. Love. New Ground.

Floral Friday :: Garden Flowers

I think I must really have a soft spot for the hibiscus flower...

Upon visiting a school recently for work I happened across these beauties glistening in the sun light. Aren't they impressive! That school in particular had multiple beautiful flowers in their front yard. I thought what a wonderful addition to the work environment. It is a pleasure to be inspired by beauty alongside the inspiration of learning. What a beautiful twosome the two make. It had me thinking: what else goes best with beauty?


What do you think goes best with beauty?

Peace. Love, Learning

This post is a part of the floral Fridays link up.

Musing :: Mind : How Do You Like the View?

Still on a high from blogtember I'm flirting with the idea of taking part in this link up. Will i have the energy? I don't know but I feel like writing so that's just what I'm going to do.

As I look over my life at present and become filled with frustration after frustration. In the midst of my discomfort I am (surprisingly) ever reminded by my conscience that I am uncomfortable in a place I have yearned to be for longer than I care to say. I must acknowledge in my heart that I am uncomfortable because I am growing and growing pains hurt...

I can't imagine what it must be like to live your life forever in a state of stagnancy, with the only thing moving being your imagination. I don't want to imagine running towards goals that stay in your head like your thoughts are exercising on a treadmill track; running, running but never feeling the discomfort of new ground and the different textures all mixed and muddled up in actual acceleration....never losing hope but never expanding vision. Never feeling that icy cold taste of wind rushing into and filling up your lungs as you give chase, a feeling so unique you can't exactly explain it...

That just may be 30% dream 70% nightmare.

So right now as I begrudgingly access my various situations  I am still grateful. Who new the two feelings could coexist? 

My goal continues to be to once I feel that cold, tight and unbalancing sensation creeping up my stomach walls and choking me though my oesophagus, my goal is to choose excitement over fear.

Now of course I can't win them all but I can sure as hell try.

What do you do when fear of the future, (that is tomorrow or ten years from now) grips you?

Peace. Love. Put Up Your Dukes.

Musing :: Style : Bats in the Attic

See it's funny because I was actually in an attic and there were actually bats giddit giddit? No? Ok fine. I am not at all afraid of bats though so I had a silly grin on my face most of the time, i guess that's why my face is blurry? Just one of the few things that stereotypes say girls are supposed to be afraid of that I am not, another is lizards and don't even get me started on frogs; gosh I love those slimy cold little hoppy things!

These blue pants slay me, they make me laugh cause I just think they're so ridiculous for being so bright, why so attention seeking denim? This black top is so comfy in it's cotton blend and back wing sleeves and ever so slight cawl neck that makes for both modesty and style. I was going for artsy but I don't think I quite achieved it. Still, it was a nice change to my usual look. Sorry for the bad quality, this is off my uncooperative phone as I'm still in difficulty for images :( I don't feel like letting that kill my vibe though so onward!

I dig it.

How do you break the stereotypes said about you?

Peace. Love. Keep it Moving.

Blogtember Round Up and Reflection

I had such a great time taking part in blogtember and met so many fun and interesting new bloggers along the way that I really wanted to take the time to dwell on some of the posts that came out of the hands and hearts of these bloggers and outta lil ol' me!

From myself I was reminded of who I am which may very well soon be my about page replacement as I love it so much but then nobody will understand why my blog has a different title than it's address the poor awkward thing... I discussed my passion for my job as well as why I even started this blog debacle! I gave my soul a little written love down and took a peek at what science had to say about my personality; nice things it turns out. I shared my views on the importance of protecting love and had a spiritual paw waw in a coffee date with you. I also failed at my first attempt at a blog swap guest post activity and as for my first attempt at a vlog well I leave you to decide.

From other bloggers I learned: Visual Advice for new bloggers because some times words are worth a thousand words. I was reminded of the importance of Retaining who you really are in the face of change. and that Sundays Are the Best Days well I feel like they should be and lastly, a montra that just wont get out of my head is the mindfulness to Savour Your Season with Hands Wide Open which I guess is okay as it is really good advice!

Blogging really is therapeutic, who needs a retreat when you can just writ it all down! (I do I totally do please please vacation come to me) So long blog-temper you inspiring demanding inspirational commitment you! So long and thanks for the growth. (Don't you wish all relationships could end that nice and clean with just that statement haha random thought is random.) A giant welcome to you if you are a new follow. I hope to keep providing you with a reason to read my blog and I honestly can't wait to get to know you ♥


What did you enjoy about my month long blogging spree, any post in particular?

Peace. Love. Reflect.