Is LOVE worth it?

So Valentines Day is here and something that was brought to my attention was the lingering question by people from multiple and different walks  of life, all asking  so what's all the fuss about anyway?
 
One of my favourite lingerie brands shared a very interesting infographic with me that showcased some research they did into the matter. This is something I don't talk about but guys i confess, some women like shoes, my guilty pleasure is some dandy delicates ;) I haven't had the opportunity to personally try their product yet but I look forward to it greatly. The objective of this research they conducted was to evaluate the thoughts of men verses woman on the matter of valentines day. Now I must say I found this very interesting. I always find it a fascinating task looking into how men and when view things differently, it can teach us so much about humanity and getting along.

These are the points that stuck out most to me:

• A staggering amount of men would rather netflix and chill than make fancy plans.  
• Most men expect to have to plan the event. 
• Most men intend to buy flowers while 
• Women intend to get something 'memorable' for their significant other.
• Most people don't intend to spend more than 25 dollars on Vday and that's coming from both sexes.
• Eveyone expects to 'get lucky' that day (i giggled because I'm an adult.)

I realise my expectations and plans for valentines day continue to grow and change as I do every year. In earlier years I simply longed for something, then I did the things; I had the nights of flowers and chilling and I had the nights of a fancy dinner. Every time it comes around I realise that I want something different, sometimes I want a casual experience, sometimes I want a fancy one.

In my socio linguistics class we're talking about effective communication and the entire concept is changing my life let me tell you. These points above I highlighted because they are the ones that are most glaring to me,

For instance, I am a woman who would also rather chill inside with a nice meal most times. I don't like getting flowers unless they are artificial, in the form of a potted plant or are some quirky spin on the event like a giant paper flower or a rose broach or necklace. I admit it, I take gift giving very seriously, I've never given a 'lazy' gift in my life. I put immense thought into gift giving and I don't and vehemently dispose doing things because everyone else is doing it.

Naturally, I felt compelled to test these results and had to conduct some research of my own. Turns out everything is pretty true to form. Most of the men I spoke to couldn't care less about the event and resigned them self to making some kind of effort only if their spouse wanted them to so do.

Many of the women likewise did not care much and with the recent popularity of the #galentinesday movement they don't much have to now do they?

I've learned my personality just doesn't want to be bored with the stereo typical but that what is stereo typed will never stop me from doing and loving the things that I love.

The perfect valentines day for me is doing something simple while well dressed that makes me happy. Something only slightly different from the norm but with some one I treasure having in my life.  I'm so easily pleased I think pizza, wine and the ocean would make me quite happy.

Also, since I love love love daisies (my favourite) ferrero rouche (one of my favourites) and heart shaped jewellery, (especially the minimalist kind) it's very simple for me to be a content happy gal.

You see the way I see it, love is worth it, the effort. I'm so glad that we were gifted the ability to love each other in this world. I'm so glad that love is so much more than roses and fancy restaurant dinners, that it is laughter and motivation and believing and aspiring to greatness that celebrating on valentines day, whether with a spouse or just the people in your life that you do love, its worth it.

Now I don't mean forcing the hand of either party to foot a bill more expensive because it comes on red scented paper, no. It's worth a little fuss, it's worth thinking fondly on a remixed outfit or even a new one if it's within your means. Its worth smiling at the red colour and the hearts. Its worth it because happiness is free.

The world has an overflow of everything else, far be it for me to be the one to decide it should have less love because past pain makes me squeamish. I wont do it. I will scream the importance of love to the roof tops always because it is more than kisses. It is safety, truth and sacrifice and it is worth it.

Happy day to all who have a heart capable of loving and and receiving love.

Peace. Love. Worthwhile Relationships

3 Ways to Piss Off a Blogger | My Terms of Service.

Don't forget to give credit for our hard work

Let me clear things up if there is any confusion now, I am a writer.  I am a writer who engages in the form of writing known as blogging. For a blogger, work is different. Creating content, conceptualising a photo before you take it, choosing good lighting and then if you're a blogger who watermarks, taking the time to do so. Lets not forget editing and putting all of these parts together. This takes time, effort and passion. It doesn't matter how small the following or how big the reach. We take pride in what we do just like anyone would. Respect that by crediting our work always.

Do not assume we will work for free.

I use the word free loosely, anyone in any equation they enter deserves to be compensated whether that be monetarily or through credit or mention. If you are a sponsor, an affiliate or someone who stands to gain from working with me, do not expect me to give of myself whole heartedly with nothing to gain from it. Whether that is a mention, a credit or monitory payment for my time effort and hard work. Consider the accumulative value of what you are asking and then treat me, the writer, with the respect I deserve. Treat me as someone willing to work with you to make your dream happen as part of my own dream.

Don't ask or expect us to not be honest.

Anyone who takes us seriously, also known as the people you are trying to reach from working with us, trusts us for our honesty and accountability. I for one will never promote a product or service I do not believe in. Therefore, do not approach me asking that I review a product or service you do not allow me to try for myself. I will not write about something as if I have experienced it when I have not That is to say that I will a lie or, more accurately, I will not great for you a work of fiction without saying that it is. As writer I make a pronounced habit of stating the difference between the two when I engage in either. Expect that I will continue to do so. Honesty between my audience and I is priceless and worth protecting.


That said I would LOVE to work with you as it has to do with  writing reviews and trying samples as long as you are okay with acknowledging my work and my claim to honesty. You can find an example of advertorial work I have done in the past here.



What do you do when others taking your work as nothing but play?

Peace. Love. Transparency.

Snazzy Jazzy Poetry Night at the Grenada National Museum

*****

I’d been invited before. In fact, the Writer’s Association of Grenada (WAG) of which I am presently the Vice President,  has also been invited to read poetry at the venue.

On this Friday in question, I finally made it. I stopped being a hermit and went out! I couldn’t have picked a better way to break that vicious homebody habit either.

Now, as a person who dabbles in various bits of artistry myself, writing, (zomg really?  I know my paints from my pens pretty all right....a poetry and Jazz night? Oh yes please! 

I wasn’t let down either. 

The music was just as intoxicating as I thought it would be. The band members played almost like we, the audience, weren’t even there! As though it was just them, their instruments and their friends having a Friday night jam session in a room where the lights were low and the music, could glide across the area and then bounce back to you so that it filled every corner of available space.

I loved how the crowd was so diverse too, there were tourists, poets, local art museum curators, business people who had finished for the day, students looking for a ‘lime’, (decreolize: hangout) and musicians, just to name a few. 

One musician, a newly arrived Peace Corp. Member by the name of Sean, was called up in fact, to perform impromptu on his guitar. All the peace corp. members on island were celebrating Peace Corp. 50^th Anniversary just next door and had trickled in to observe afterwords.

Sean sang a classic American hit: Sweet Caroline and then hit us with a sweet sweet back in the day hit by the Back Street Boys, my favourite band back in my teens so you know I was pleased!

Sean Park - last week's audience guest guitarist

I was so pleased in fact, I had to go again. They have it only on the first Friday of every month.

Have I express how impressed I am with the saxophonist? His playing, is so impressive, enhanced ten fold by his deliverance! For most of the song he is seated. Until, he suddenly stands and belts out a high note via instrument. Tilting his head back, rocking slowly forward then. 

I look forward to these moments the most because they don’t seem like they’re just done to show off but because he’s really going at it!

Speaking of going at it, the second time I attended, there was this guitarist who was lost in the music, he and his guitar were having an intense, heated conversation that we in the audience were privileged enough to witness.

Deep Guitar Guy

Toward the end of the night, he let us join in that conversation too, by way of urging us to clap to the beat while they played. We did, boisterously. 

The room came alive with music and a love of it. There even came a point in the night when a woman became so overwhelmed with rhythm, she stood and danced to the beat of the drums and all the other wonderful instruments on stage: sax, keyboard, flute, harmonica, steel pan. I can’t name them all by memory…

Let me just stop for a minute to say that I find there is nothing like the heavenly sound of steel pan music. I’m not particularly interested in it during carnival and so but when it plays soft music it seems to caress the air and convinces me that angels have steel pan as back up for the days when their harps need tuning… 

This week The MC (Sax Man) singled out another known artist in the crowd and called on him to ‘come on up’ not Sean this time, don’t know if this new young man was a tourist but he was wearing a white shirt that heavily resembled a ‘I heart NY’ t-shirt, which for some weird reason I thought was hilarious and I chuckled when I saw it! I guess cause I haven’t seen one of those in years, it’s like a classic or something isn't it?

He did go ‘on up’ and I enjoyed the song he played on guitar the most that night.

The week's guest guitarist

But he didn’t stop there, I observed him not return to his seat but take an open place next to the guy on the drums who, quickly took him under his wing and got him acquainted with the beat. I admired this guy, what a terrific creative attitude!

I had been late, having spent most of my evening chatting at the art gallery with Maryse and her little docile doggy Noisette (NuNu), from both of whom I learned so much! 

After that I filled my time with taking pictures on the carenage at dusk, meeting up with my old college drama director Mr. Amen, whom I haven’t seen since he migrated, and who knows what else, before I made it!

So this time I missed the poetry portion :( but it shall not happen again! 

What’s sad though is that they have little to no funding. There is a little basket at the door where patrons are kindly asked to donate how ever much is possible in efforts to keep this going and I urge anyone who goes to spare them some, however much is up to the value of your experience. 

Keep in mind though, this is fuelled by us the people, our little donations ensure this keeps happening. Too many artistic avenues have disappeared here in Grenada because of lack of founding…

I applaud whomsoever had the idea to do this for going ahead with it, also the band, for always delivering a soulful performance.

More of The Band

A. Belfon on the Sax and also MC for the night

*****

It was a great night, an opportunity to be surrounded by art, positivity and a love of both. Needless to say, I think they’ve made a permanent visitor of me.

Maybe even...a performer? ;)

When You Walk With Purpose You Collide With...poetry? 1/2

Ah sweet serendipity….can't you and I be lovers? For I surely love you, you make my heart dance and twirl! ‘Why so metaphoric?” It happens when I feel particularly inspired :) Given the events of Friday the 11^th of March I surely did so feel.well.

I’m such a contemplative one, always musing on this or that.

My travel dream is to go to Italy. Not to be confused with my occupational dream which is to teach English in S. Korea for 6 months to a year some day...which is a dream that kind of cheats and will find a way to plop itself squarely under any category I can come up with (I really love South Korea) Yes, my dreams ARE categorized, cause I’m orderly like that, but I digress…

Going to Italy is on my bucket list. Just imagine a marvel-er like myself in a place like that of fine food, fine architecture and fine scenery, not to MENTION cobble stone, I LOVE cobble stone! You’d never hear the END of it!

On this Friday in particular I went to Italia! (saying it that way makes me happy happy joy joy) Well okay not ALL of me just my taste buds and they didn’t stay long... but it was enough to renew my appreciation for the fine fine country and made me want even more to bring my entire body there instead of just my food tasters...

Well after the events of the Friday  (I discovered a jazz and poetry night but lets not get ahead of ourselves, separate post on that) before, you know your girl wasn’t going to miss this! I was poised and ready. 

Sure I felt like crap and everything was daunting me: my bag was too heavy for an evening out, the work day had been too long, just got back from the doctors' where I had a four hour wait for a LITERAL MINUTE'S’ worth of attendance (I can forgive it easy the Dr. in question is wonderful, super understanding, super nice and told me that I’m 'all better' so I can live with a four hour wait to hear that) I lacked sleep and on top of that I was late yada yada. Cry me a river…BUT I was out there! Poetry at the ready, lookin' artistic in my long black flowy skirt and with matching gifted gloves. I walked with PURPOSE baby, I could DO this, I was going to OWN THIS!

Wait….where…did this ballet studio COME from? What do you mean no jazz and poetry night tonight!!? I kid you, not. I arrive to find ballerinas finishing up their evening practice and alerting me that it’s ‘not happening tonight’……………..blink blink blink.

Not going to lie, I only recently discovered that ballet classes were even available here in Grenada via the local news doing a story on it and even then it was not this instructor standing before me who'd been showcased.

So I bombarded her with a question or ten (not like I had any place special to BE *mumble grumble*) and she told me that there were at least three major Grenadian ballet schools. She clarified the difference in levels of classes they offer, difference between what she called ‘modern’ and ‘ballet’  both of which are being offered and told me how much it costs, which of course I don’t remember now. All I remember is that it was rather interesting, the entire turn of events.

Regardless, after my super duper concise education on what they offered and looking around at their seemingly recently white washed studio with its ballerina bars for training and black music notes painted on to their walls in beautiful contrast.

I stepped outside and noticed my surroundings for the first time that night.

I somehow had stepped into a small nook in Italy and had not noticed...? I was now facing small, too seater square wooden tables, they had that cosy warn look to them. Their aqua-ish green paint chipped in multiple places. REAL vines were hung from posts here and there. There was a thick lit burgundy candle placed atop a thin, long candle holder just at the top of the few steps I’d just climbed to get to said platform.

In my short time on the inside, the day light had receded and the moonlight had settled in comfortable above head. There was no covered roof so when you sat, you sat at a restaurant under the stars. And I DID sit, gazing up at the overcast sky as the sky and moon played peek-a-boo with each other.

My companion for the night was late, as is usual for her. I suddenly didn’t mind being with myself on that night however. The moon and I are very good old friends you see, we can speak with just gazes.

The tables were very few. If only six of them with two two seater coaches to my right up against the wall of the building . Straight ahead and beyond the little aqua tables was the bar, with three high chair seats. The bar was the only part of the set up actually unmovable and a part of the building. From where I sat I could see that behind the bar was not drinks but a fridge from where they pulled wine, just beyond that was the kitchen were they prepared the dishes you ordered. EVERYTHING was within sight.

I got the impression that the Italian chef was annoyed with me, just sitting there not buying anything but I stuck it out as I waited. I watched him explain what was on the menu for the night, how he would not cook a chicken if he did not buy one that morning, the same goes for any fish, so that no flavour is lost, about how that is how it is done in Italy and how you NEVER mix cheese with fish. Some people would be bothered over the fact that the chicken they are eating was alive yesterday, fortunately for my tummy I am not one of those people.

I met so many people I haven’t seen in a while, like a wonderfully cheerful and positive friend of mine…. Moreen St Clare, she is a Grenville member of the Writers Association of Grenada. On that night she was accompanied by her daughter, niece and the other person with her was her…sister…in law? I didn’t ask. After those joyful hellos and good byes I met Mayres a French member of the Writers Association of Grenada. She came bearing her German lady friend and Spain originate friend with her. They invited me to sit with them.

Surprised and just a tad shy (it happens) I complied and I don’t regret a moment of it! Within second of sitting down I learned that they were ALL artists. Spain Lady, a diver and seascapes painter. German Lady, an earring maker among other things like: qualified herbalist, candle maker, stained glass painter.

We had good fun of the clean and dirty kind; (lets just say the intellectual discussion was of all colours of the rainbow :) but we all have artistic license so dont worry that's legal.

Our order came, and for 30 bucks we had stuffed potato, a tomato also stuffed with something cheese and delicious, do you know how much I HATE tomatoes? Not THIS tomato! It was HEAVENLY. Mahi Mahi, in a delicious light lemon garlic sauce, fried cassava. Just pure heaven on a plate ok?!

I couldn’t speak, all that came out was a series of ‘mMMm’s and ‘aaah’s and ‘omg! So good!’

You know when you watch those shows where people get dressed up in couture evening wear and buy something that only fills a quarter of their plate and you think ‘Psssh girl I’m GROWN, needs me some gown people food!’ No? The hungry voice in your head doesn't sound like that? Huh…...thought that was normal.... but they’re enjoying every tiny bite when you watch them, each even more than the one before it…and you say to yourself ‘Pssh cause it cost so damn much for so little they want it to last as long as they can make it and fool their mind into THINKING they full…’

NO! This was not such a case!!

It was so good I didn’t want it to end! I wanted every last morsel to melt on my tongue slooooow. I also had a cup of ginger beer to go with it. Everything was more than amazing!

The conversation and the food were delicious and fed mouth and mind simultaneously. By the time Eli showed I had eaten every last crumb and was not ashamed.

I convinced her to try it and wouldn’t you know she had the exact same reaction! Good to the last bite! But Eli is a food lover and has what i like to call a 'plush pallet' so I expected as much haha.

My tummy sang my praises for the rest of the night and way into the first part of the next day. I don’t know how he did it but the unique mix of herbs and spices, both of which my dear Spice Isle is well know to be plentiful in :), were as mind blowing as the moonlight that night.

I can only explain it with one word: skill! Or maybe two, the next being: experience! Or three, the next being: magic! But I’m leaning strongly towards the first two!

After more wonderfully stimulating conversation, I said good bye with hugs and double cheek kisses as I’m not sure when next I will meet these wonderful women. :(

Eli and i took a few fun snaps to remember to evening in Little (Grenadian) Italy by:

****

Then high tailed it across the street to the ART EXHIBITION. A friend I’d met on my way to the ‘poetry and jazz night’ Mayres, and both her friend told me they had pieces on display and considering how this night had started and how awesome it was shaping out?! I was going to ride that wave till it caved! 

There was no way I was going to miss this!