Set a goal
Work toward it
But every now and then.
Drink it in
It might all be gone tomorrow.'
Grey Anatomy - Season 5 - Episode 24
Tonight she is feeling really grateful for having a goal. She should be sad but she is not. She though previous semesters were hard and then this one happened. Not so much this one as the things that happened around it.
Last semester came the cancer scares again and i told myself, Liz, this is it. This is the hard stuff, this is the peek. On top of visual impairment and constant cancers scares now you've got another one, on your face. Yep, this is the top of the pile babe, you've topped it.
Then this semester came around. Not so much this semester but the things that happened around it. So many things that i cant even talk about them. I'm generally a talkative gal. Except when i stop talking. Sometimes so much happens that even i don't want to hear the words out loud because I'm too busy trying to get past them.
The hardest part is being the only one who knows as much as i know about them, the hardest part is staring the hurricane in the eye everyday and letting everyone be fooled by clear skies because they can't handle hurricanes.
Tonight i should feel sad....but i don't. Tonight i feel grateful because i know, i understand that i am sacrificing and I'm really quite okay with it. Because i feel SO INCREDIBLY LUCKY to have the chance to chase my dream. I longed for this for a long time, for just a chance, just a little crack in the concrete through which I could squeeze myself and take it. Take what i want.
I considered what i want and i want this, i still want this. I get that nobody is going to hand it to me. I get that i have to take it and I'm going to cry i'm sure...but after i cry, more likely even during. I'm going to take it..
Cause that's who I am; the girl who takes the dream.
Sometimes I just need to remind myself I guess.