i have found the heart to be an incredibly indecisive and curious thing, always amused and drawn to multiple forks in the road only to come to them and when you ask it, 'Alright babe, which way do you wanna go? which road do you want?' Like a spoiled child hearts almost always say 'All of them! i want all of them!' or at the VERY least more than one.
And what is curious is that nobody tells you this! All the movies and the songs make it sound easy as if 'Hey girl, simple solution ; just follow your heart duh!'
I can brag about having lived a quarter of a century now and let me tell ya for as long as i have known myself my heart has always been this amazingly spoiled and selfish little tender thing. Always with the i want i want i want....whispering those words in my ear, warming up my blood, making my feet itch to start moving in the direction called forward and when i lean in close and say 'Yes little one, what is it, what is it that you want? Tell me clearly and i will get it for you.'
It answers 'So many many things...'
and i'm just like sigh....................WTF am i supposed to do with that???! Speak up you little twat! (admit it, talking to your heart nicely takes patients and practice )
It's a good thing i have a brain too...and though it might not be the best brain in all of the universe, it still works for me. Still wants what's best for me. Which is saying a lot because not everybody's brain works like that anymore. My brain still serves to remind me that my heart is forever young and as a result will always need guidance. My heart is only there to suggest to me, to help me feel and know that i have wants.
It's up to me then, to choose one and peruse it. And i will never know which way is truly the right way because this life, is a constant trial and error but I've still gotta keep moving because for me, indecision is painful...
Oh! I ran across this quote:
|Quote from: An Abundance of Kathrines by John Green|
So so far i have learned 3 Ways To Deal With The Pain of an Indecisive Heart
1. I must keep feeding my heart tastes of the things it wants. One choice at a time.
2. I must try to remember that we are young, if not in body often always in soul and with any luck, we can double back to the ones, the choices, that don't have a short term time stamp on it. So i really have that big scary word called responsibility to choose wisely not erratically and the heart is an erratic thing but it is also passionate and passion is rarely calculated.
3. I should never urge my heart to stop wanting because a heart that is not wanting is not eating, starving, dying. Have you ever felt that numb feeling where your heart does not want anything? When you ask 'What do you want babe?' and the answer is a sulky 'nothing, i do not want, I'm scared to want...i don't like the feelings i get when i want and do not receive, i get angry, lonely, unsure and insecure, let us not want, let us sit still in a state of not want this is safe...' i know i have felt that. So to have a heart that continues to want is a blessing, i promise you.
Here's hoping i remember them when the going gets tough
How do you deal with an indecisive heart?
Peace. Love. Strategies.