Saturday, 26 January 2013

Musing Mind :: Tests & (maybe) Failing...

Sorry for the lack of blog post this week. I've just been at a loss as to what to write about and feeling guilty that my mind isn't completely focused on subjects as Monday uni has restarted for me and with that came the usual stress and anxiety. You'd think I'd get over it by now, every single time i put myself through this fear of failure scenario. Last semester i was tossing and turning, waking myself up  as i pleaded in my sleep out loud 'how do i do do i do this...' over a class i couldn't figure out, yes, i am that much of a nerd, it is dangerous to be too driven. I was sure i was going to fail and my world would come to a screeching halt as i would have to come to terms with the fact that i'm not as awesome as i think i am and i kid you not, that is no easy task for anyone to come to terms with. Well, after weeks and months of self imposed bad joojoo i passed said class as barely as it might have been and walked away from the experience with a very valuable lesson.

Much like life itself, it's just a test.

It doesn't make or break or define you. What will happen if you fail at something? Okay, come back from that cliff you see yourself throwing your self off of mentally...after that. You will rise. You'll take a step and then another step. I think this is the part that will make or break you. The part where you decide if those new steps will be in a forward direction.

This is just the first bit, what really gets me down and staying down is that every time i feel this drain of creative juices. I know it's not ever lasting though. A means to an ends. So, in an unlikely event i thought I'd give you a glance at some completely unrelated pieces of me.

I wear suits to work and since i have been obsessed with Doctor Who for the last month and a half, one of my favorite suits now has even more appeal because of it's pin stripes reminding me of The Doctor.

 Also trying to be a better teacher so my new supervisor and i had a chat while he checked my books to make sure i was planning well. Teachers get stickers too! Who doesn't like stickers?

Also, discovered i could use my ipad as a teaching aid my student loves and is enthusiastic about learning from.

Chocolate is a lovely pick me up, yes?


It's been cold round here lately. What i like to call 'sock weather'

So that's what its been bout this week, I've been battling as i attempt to balance being a good growing full time teacher and being a university student. It's very difficult as i unfortunately face situations where i sometimes encounter professionals who seem more about their pride than whether their students, my students, pass, fail or feel comfortable in their skin and life as a student. This hurts me very much but i have full intention to continue my resolution to live with authority because this one isn't only for me, it's for my students too. Also, those moments when i meet other professionals who pick up the slack where others have failed my hope is renewed.

Trying not to be too impressed that I've stuck to my resolutions though. After all, it's still January ;) But hey! Thought of the Day: This Life Is Just A Test & School's Back In Session.
"Time asks no questions it goes on without you,
Leaving you behind if you can't stand the pace." ~ Des'ree
Peace. Love. Worth


  1. I went to school for my liberal arts degree as I wanted to be a teacher, but after the required 30 hrs in the class room I decided that the job was not for me - ever.

    I'm much better suited for the corporate world. I can handle the adult-child, much better than an actual child ;-)


  2. You've got such a full plate! You sound like you're going to be a lovely teacher. Please hang in there and don't let the other 'adults' bring you down, because the world needs more people like you.

    Thank you for visiting and commenting on my blog. I hope you have a wonderful weekend. :)

  3. Thank you ladies! Lets all fight the good fight in our fields of interest :)

  4. Sounds like you've been busy! Wow. I bet you'll be an amazing teacher. Chocolate- hell yeah. Always a savior!

    Hope you find some R&R soon. Glad to have found your blog!

    xox, amber

    1. Looking forward to Easter Holi! Thank you for stopping by and commenting <3

  5. I know what you mean about being busy! I could barely manage this last post I did! I don't think you have to ever apologize for taking a break...bloggers need breaks too! And I didn't realize you teach! -Jessica L

  6. Thanks Jessica! Yup coming up on 7 years of teaching i am! *shudder* oh the way that time flies! I love teaching though :)

  7. Ummm, I'm jealous of your lips... don't care how creepy that sounds. And, since you're such an overachieving perfectionist like me, I will tell you this from experience: you will look back a year after college and think, wow, THAT was what I was so stressed about? Girlfriend, you'll be fine. And the fact that you're so concerned about how well you do in school shows that you'll be MORE than fine. I'm sure you'll pass everything with flying colors, because you care!

  8. Thanks for the lip compliment, i'm currently in the phase of not being too fond of them... I'm kindda jealous of your entire face m'self (especially that head of hair!) so we're rowing the creepy boat together LOL! Sometimes the caring feels like it works against me though :P


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