Musing Mind :: Let Me Love You Until You Learn To Love Yourself ♫

While watching an episode of Glee, a show i LOVE there is a particular performance that really really irked me (spoiler alert!) It was supposed to be very romantic but i couldn't help sitting there, staring at my screen with a look of bewilderment thinking 'Um...wtf? This aint cute.' and blinking rapidly at the writers that thought this was the best way to convey a message to the youth of the world.

The scenario goes as follows: There is a character that has been preyed on by  another girl who, coming under the guise of her friend, convinces her that she is fat and pushes her into bulimic practices. Now this story is one i already have a sensitive nerve about because one of my best friends during the course of my life has struggled with bulimia, i was THERE i saw what she went through, not completely of course but i saw her struggle and her fight to get over it, so when i saw this issue my eyebrows perked. Now i do not have a problem with the writers tackling this issue because the fact of the matter is, it is a very real one and i admire pushing the envelop like that.

Now said character with all the body issues and self esteem problems has found herself in love with the guy she is dating, who loves her too (they're a cute couple i dig them) She finds herself however too scared to tell him, he senses it and decided to tell her first so as to take the pressure off.

Now Here Is Where Things Get Stupid.

Now who thinks it is a smart idea to tell the young women of the world, battling body issues, eating disorders and self esteem problems that it is okay for a significant other to, love them enough so that they don't have to worry about not loving themselves?

If you have ever gone through the turmoil of self hate, you know that there is nothing anyone could say that can fix you. Only you can fix you. And it angers me that this message is being sent through music and i suppose through the show but I'm trying not to judge them yet because i understand as a writer myself this could be all part of plot building so the jury is still out on that part...Still! Really? I will love you so don't worry you don't have to worry about loving you? In my opinion, this idea of love coming outside of self is what gets us into these situations in the first place...

How is it going to help an insecure person to believe and lean on the understanding that security not can but WILL come outside of self? Isn't that creating a culture of dependency? If self love, SELF love, comes from outside of SELF isn't it obviously easy for it to me taken AWAY from self? Causing a person to go out looking and counting and digging in the dirt in hopes of finding someone ELSE to give them the SELF satisfaction they need to go on and were encouraged to not bother to nurture and water and grow?

It is important to remember that nobody but you is responsible for your out look on you. Giving that control to someone else does not only not give you firm footing in security but rather only has you living on borrowed time...until the next disappointment and believe me, humanity disappoints, we are flawed and can not help it and when your understanding is dependent on the acceptance of another human being you have offered up yourself to a kind of vulnerability that is more dangerous than anything of your own making....

It's like putting a bandage on a poisonous snake bite.

Let me also say that i wrote about this issue from the perspective of a television show viewer and writer but it would be an injustice not to link you to this post by one of my favorite bloggers that talks about it from a music listener's point of view and goes into more detail about the disturbing presence of this message in everyday music media, much more than even i initially realized! Its a fantastic read.

Peace. Love. Send The Right Message.

Th 2013 production of Sparky the play by Recardo Keens Douglas

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On the 16th of February members of the Writers Association of Grenada (W.A.G) and I went to see an encore performance of Sparky, the play, written, produced and directed by Ricardo Keens-Douglas. 

I couldn't help but do a little interview with him. He is after all one of my national heroes! As a Grenadian writer it can sometimes feel rare for us to have local, home soil grown, literary brilliance that we can not only look up to but that the masses recognize. Granted his work is great, even if it did not have the worldwide recognition that it does have.

As every writer knows, the chance to share your passion with the masses and have it make a difference in their lives, small as it may ever be, is often the biggest reward we could ever experience in our lives.

Sorry for the not so great pictures but my camera has all but given up. Sparky is a beautiful locally produced play about a firefly born without its spark. This, proves to be a metaphor about how different we all are and the importance of appreciating people for their individualism and what makes them unique.

It is in the area of family theatre so it can be viewed by adults and children alike with no fear or worry.  I was thrilled to learn that it is in fact an adaptation to one of Ricardo Keens-Douglas' books!

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I must say, I love what he is trying to do and promote, his message of unity in an attempt to keep the bonds of the family alive, he has created this literary event that can bring children and adults together. His handmade set was spectacular!

 

I was truly blown away by the knowledge that he had designed it all on his own. Furthermore, it is amazing how such a powerful play manages to be, even without any sponsorship what so ever. It was a musical too, the likes of which i have never seen on island,

He took the time to write his own songs accompanied by matching choreography! I am impressed by the dedication of the cast of real life teachers, lawyers, students and otherwise who dedicate their time off to practising to make the production a success.

 Monique from Martinique was my favorite character, she is in the blue wig!

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Ricardo Keens-Douglas has always been an impressive writer. I knew him first from his tale of La Diablasse, (not yet in my library but I'm coming for you!).

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My first purchase of his work is that of 'The Nutmeg Princess'

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Of which I gleefully and proudly own a signed copy!

I can only imagine the greatness this play could achieve if it only had financial backing. I urge everyone to go out and show their support. We always talk about how badly we want things like this to happen but they can not and will not continue without support and tangible show of interest from the public. So see the play, buy the book, tell your friends about them! Lets make this a reality for ourselves and the upcoming generation.

All stared(*) photographs are sourced from the Facebook of Ricardo Keens-Douglas,

Musing :: Mind : Valentine's Day Sucks!

So you know one thing that really gets my goat about vday? Everyone going on and on about how bad, sad and depressing it is. I don't get it, whats the big deal? Go out and buy yourself some chocolate! Chocolate always tastes good, no matter who you got it from ;) So what if that person is you? Also, you must know that you are not the only single person on the planet right now, there has got to be someone who wants to get out of the house on this day too, grab em and set yourself up. Personally i like going to the largest supermarket here and staring at the multitude of chocolate that always comes out around this time, oh yes! My favorite thing <3 Chocolate that you never see has come out to play!

Also, you could always go to dinner, dinner is yummy especially if it's a fancy one. You don't need anyone to take you, take yourself! There is nothing that makes one feel more complete than realizing that another half does not complete you, you are already complete, another half only enhances something that is already great. How are you going to enhance something that is already great if it does not acknowledge it's own greatness?
 
 I know it's no easy task, i am not deluded, in fact for the very first time on Valentine's day this year i was so sad. This has never happened to me, not while single not while coupled. You know what i realized? One of the pillars of my sadness was that i had again allowed negativity to seep into my system. Everywhere i turned, twitter, Facebook, people were belly aching about how they 'hate valentine's day' and how 'i just call it Thursday' and how 'i am just waiting for the cheap chocolate after this is over' (this last one i am jealous of you first worlders!) Okay, we get it. You're bitter. Nobody loves you today on the day everyone is celebrating love. Wait...no, that doesn't sound right does it?

Somebody loves you. Someone. Isn't that what you're suppose to be celebrating? All of a sudden what is important is that nobody wants to kiss you today even though it really didn't bother you much yesterday? Come on, lets put the jealousy and envy aside. We are celebrating LOVE here people. Love life, love friendships that have lasted, love that you've got a mom for mothers day, love that chocolate is everywhere. Don't be such a Debbie Downer acting like the only kind of love that is worth recognizing and celebrating is the type that makes you feel someone thinks you are important.

I know this is a bit harsh of a perspective to take on this subject and hey, I'm not even asking you to agree with me I'm just saying...damn guys...just dayum!

Peace. Love. Appreciate.

Musing :: NOTD : Valentine's Day Nails ♥

Hi Everyone! I love you. Here, have these big love filled hugs on me!

Every year i say I'm not going to do Valentine's Day nails, every year i change my mind. I always get so intrigued by making an attempt! This was taken as soon as i was finished, not too impressive i know and rather pre-clean up. I was rushing out the door again and knew i had to take that picture quickly as that pale pink polish i own is really crappy and chips like it's life depends on it!

How was your Valentine's Day? I know I've quite a bit to say on that subject but I'll leave that for a Musing Mind post...so look out for that soon! :)

Peace. Love. Chocolate Sales ♥

3 Books That Changed My Life (List)

 I don't get to read as much as I'd like to anymore, at least not read books that aren't on a syllabus.  When i finally do get any kind of holiday from school i don't want to see books honestly...It's really unfortunate because i feel like I've cut off an avenue of learning i gain so much from. Then that got me reflecting, often one is asked. What is your favorite book? I suddenly started thinking about what are my top three. I was amused to find that all three of them were self help books disguised as works of fiction.

The Alchemist.

Eat. Pray. Love.

Who Moved My Cheese.

I give them all 5/5 ratings. These books really did change my life, especially the first one! They all talk of journeying to the soul and over coming barriers to get there, whether it be language barriers, thieves, those trying to steal your joy, your will, your future or getting lost in a maze, often of your own making, as we seek out destiny. Here are just a handful of the quotes that stayed with me from these amazing books:

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 "Trust in your heart, but never forget that you're in the desert."

"It is we who nourish the Soul of the World, and the world we live in will be either better or worse, depending on whether we become better or worse"

"No matter what he does, every person on earth plays a central role in the history of the world. And normally he doesn't know it."

 "If I can learn to understand this language without words, I can learn to understand the world."

"And maybe it wasn't that they were teaching me, but that I was learning from them."

"Sometimes, there's just no way to hold back the river."

~The Alchemist 

(I honestly would quote the whole book if i could!)

"A Change Imposed is a change apposed" ~ Who Moved My Cheese 

"Useful, then, might be to accept how i was made and embody myself fully therein" ~Eat Pray Love

"A man prayed before a statue 'please give me the grace to win the lottery. One day the statue replied 'please buy a ticket" ~Eat. Pray Love (I'm very sad to say i lost all my quotes from the book! This particular quote is paraphrased. Oh well, I'll just have to read it over :D!)

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What are your top three favorite books? Come now, not just your favorite, it needs to be more than one. It's interesting to reflect on what these books say about you as a person. For me it looks like the same solitary message has been screaming to me from all across the universe: Love yourself, absolutely. The journey is hard but absolutely worth it and remember, a lot of the barriers are of your own making. Also, you are very small in the grand scheme of things but that's no excuse to not appreciate all of this beauty surrounding and inside of you. If you ever get a chance i fully and wholeheartedly suggest you read any one of these books, you can only gain from the experience.

What do your favorite books say about you, what has called to you over the years, can you see a link between them?

Peace. Love. Read & Reflect.

My Etsy Heart :: 8 AWESOME Valantines Day Gifts Under $25! (List)

I don't know about you but i'm a sucker for heart shaped things. Seriously I've loved them from young and i still can't help but love them now. Maybe it's my naive belief that this world is/can be so full of love, all around us, so many different types of love exuding from so many unexpected places. From pets that somehow know to come up and nuzzle you when you're sad or depressed, to plants that you water that spread their leaves green, bright and healthy, to girlfriend friendships decades and days old a like and of course the obvious, cheered love between two people who hope to spend the rest of their lives in each others company. See? I'm a sucker for hearts or rather love representation..

That's why i love Valentines day! Honestly it's barely the hope of getting anything, i just LOVE seeing heart shaped  and love themed things everywhere! It makes me happy. Last year i went a little nutty with my pinterest finds, this year i still went a little nutty drooling...only this time it was on etsy! Check out these awesome gifts under $25! Posting this early in case anyone wants to make sure all is shipped in time for the 14th! :)

 

1. Isn't that scarf awesome?! I think if i had to choose things i'd like most as a gift it would be this and the number eight item! I love gifts that can be easily run over into everyday life, that way it's not just for the occasion but i can carry it around all the time remembering that it was given to me. 2. I'm not a fan of math but sometimes you need to bring things down to there simplest terms to truly appreciate them. 3. Customizable undies for your favorite husband! 4. Out of all the husbands in all the world or of the husbands you have, who's your favorite? ;) 5. Sometimes subtle gifts are the best, everyone doesn't need to know when and why you got it, only you do, i think this pillow is a perfect example, when you're cuddled up on a lazy rainy Sunday morning in your jammies hugging it  you can feel the love resonate and know in your heart why! 6. Since everything doesn't always have to be spelt out or shown off this bazinga iphone case is lovely, another everyday use item. It keeps it the theme of vday as it's red and it shows personal thought if given to a Big Bang Theory lovin' fan like me. Plus it's totally unisex! 7. Look at this heart covered iphone case...just look at it! At the risk of sounding like a middle schooler isn't it 'totes adorbs'!? Not too much for everyday use, kind of vintage themed, more white than any other colour so goes with so much. Maybe not the kind of thing on average one might buy for themself but that's why it's the perfect little gift isn't it?! 8. Lastly, some people LIKE to be obvious with their lovey dovey, this is perfect for such a thing isn't it? Anyone who visits you and sees this lovely wooden gift knows exactly why it was given to you: someone thinks you're their sweetie!


How do you feel about Valentines Day?

Peace. Love. Chocolate (The other main reason i love vday!)

Musing :: NOTD : Independence Day Nails

Independence decorations up at KFC!

Do forgive me, photobucket is being rather full of nonsense changing their things about for no reason, i'm not happy about it and haven't acquainted myself properly yet so if my pictures look a bit odd that is why.

Independence Day in my country is well on it's way (Feb 7th!) so i did my nails up, our national colours are red - for the passion of our people, green - for our fertile soil and gold - for our caribbean sunshine! Though i doubt they will last as long as without getting chippy...forgive the messiness too, this is pre clean up and i was running out the door to a poetry reading so....

I'm always looking for a chance to paint my nails in my pretty pastel yellow polish, i simply love that shade! Almost as much as i love painting them orange! Yet the colour can be distracting to the school kiddies so...it's usually a no go. Want them focused on school work not Teacher's NOTD! However independence is here so it can come out to play for a bit!

Was able to grab a shot before i left, in the glow of the sunset and on my way home, thus the uh, glow of the florescent lighting? Though i like my previous independence nails more, my glitter red stripper has dried up :( One of my favorite rarities that this dear rock does not have, oh bother!

One of the things i absolutely love the most about Independence time festivities is seeing the buntings go up everywhere all over the capital city! They are such a pleasure for me as i spend most of my days  being shuttled from bus to bus as i get to my schools. When I'm feeling exhausted and start looking about out the window i can see them either gracefully swaying or rapidly flapping in the upcoming Easter winds against our amazingly brilliant Caribbean blue sky....

I love that i never ever see them littering the ground either after the 7th, the cultural ministries of the government puts them up cleanly at dusk and i suppose takes them down just as silents? Yay keeping the environment clean and healthy!

Peace. Love. Celebrate!


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