It's been really hard writing poetry everyday for the last two months. So difficult in fact, that I found myself behind on so many occasions I became daunted I wanted to give up.
Until I got to 50. That's right. Fifty poems in fifty days.
That accomplishment brought home yet again discomfort of growth. Well, I realised it again I suppose. Difficulty is a sedative for the good times isn't it?
Is every single poem worth hearing? No, absolutely not. Some of them are ridiculous and embarrassing. They make me question my talent, they make me modest and unsure Let us consider the other side of the coin too. Do I feel like I am learning and growing in my craft every single time I commit myself to staying focused and on path with my goal?
Without a doubt.
The lessons I have most readily learned from this experience are just how difficult habits are to break. Usually, I write much longer poetry, this time I have challenged myself to write much shorter, biting pieces so that I can concentrate more of my time writing prose. This has been one of the most difficult tasks I've ever set for myself. My mind, heart and hands are so used to working together in one synchronised way to create content that is of a particular length that they would kind of just get together and do it without my permission. Before I knew it, my words were bleed off the page and I was writing in the margins!
Now this wasn't a bad thing. It just wasn't my goal. So, it became a distraction to my success.
Why am I doing this? To vary my art, to push out of and eventually past my comfort zone. To commit to my word and to get to know a side of writer self I do not yet know.
It's worth it. It's hard, it's tiring, it's frustrating but the victory is worth it. I hear that's usually the case for most things in life.
There also came a time when I had to sit back and evaluate my successes and failures as it has to do with this challenge. Was it worth it to hold myself to writing a poem every single day with no relenting for sickness, pain or occupation when they were realities of my life. These things happened and when they did they caused me to be so upset if I didn't achieve that one little poem I didn't want to continue...for what, pride? No.
I am no longer in a place in my writing journey where I do not know when I can push past mediocre and can do better. So writing a sloppy poem that could barely pass for poetic prose wasn't going to cut it and be called success. Not for me.
So I changed to conversation. I'm going to try to write a poem everyday this year but if I miss a day, I wont hate myself or brand myself a failure. I am giving myself permission to change my mind. A right that, society has fought long and hard to convince us we no longer own. I am going to make sure that at the end of this year I have just as many poems as there are days in this year. I am not gong to use this as an excuse to write seven poems in one day, that's really hard by the way don't ask how i know, I will instead use it as an allowance to for real life and to choose truth over the temptation to choose completion. This time, I will acknowledge that done can be better than perfect.
Which is why I'm letting you in on a little secret, I'm taking my poetry challenge on the road! Digitally that is....This March I'm going to be sharing my daily poetry with you, short as they are, unfiltered and unedited as they are, with YOU on periscope. Follow along with me LIVE as I practice keeping this goal alive and real on periscope everyday in March! My handle on there is: sandalsnsunnies
For the longest time I've hated that phrase, done is better than perfect, how do you feel about it?
Peace. Love. Authenticity.